Hot doctors here!

by Jennifer on May 22, 2008

Hmm, after the sprinkle of comments on yesterday’s post (wonderful, thoughtful comments–and I loved every one of them), I’m thinking that maybe it takes something more sensational to tickle your general fancy, something like Hot Doctors! or Cowboy Butts in Wranglers! to get all y’all’s attention, so that’s what I’m going to give you today. But not all at once, you greedy folks.

Today was the last day of school, and wouldn’t you know? the school nurse called me this morning to let me know that Girl had an earache, and her ear looked red inside. There were all sorts of last-day festivities going on (ice cream sundaes!), and I knew Girl would want to stay at school (she did), so the nurse gave her Tylenol and sent her back to class. I made an appointment with the pediatrician’s office.

The kids’ regular doctor wasn’t available, so (oh, lucky day!) Girl would have to see her partner instead: Hotty Hot Doctor.*

The one and only time I saw him before today was months ago, another time when the school nurse thought Girl had an ear infection. That day, like today, Hotty Hot Doctor was the only one available. When he walked into the exam room…my god. Tall. Strong. Great smile. He smelled good. And he was so nice.

And I was all, “So you work out, right?” Except more like, “Hi, yeah, this one might have an ear infection.”

He looked in Girl’s ears and declared that they were all clear, no infection.”Want to take a look?” he asked. He held the otoscope while I leaned in to look. Did I mention he smelled great? And right then, he smelled great just six inches away from my face. Sigh.**

I’m not alone in my panting admiration of him. My friend Mrs. B takes her children to the same office, so she’s found herself drooling admiring him, too. We’ve discussed his excellent taste in shoes and clothes, and also how really nice he is. I doubt either of us would have mentioned him if he was an ass. We’re that kind of girls. (This is a good time to say that I really, really need Holly to illustrate this story for me. It would be so much better.)

Anyway, appointment today for 3:40 this afternoon. All set.

Ladies, and maybe some of you gentlemen, I’m sure you’ve all done what I did next.

I ran through my clothing options in my head. What to wear, what to wear? My sister Ducky called, and I told her about the appointment, and that I needed to do laundry since anything I might want to wear was in the wash.

“Wait, why are you doing laundry?”


“Be-cause, like I said, all my cute clothes are in the laundry, and I have to look good.” I couldn’t decide if she laughed because I’m funny or because I’m crazy. But when you find an unexpected bright spot in the day–as bright as a hot, capable, male doctor–you don’t close the curtains. That’s all I’m sayin’.

It had been overcast all morning, but right after I got out of the shower (yes, a Super Wash), it started to rain. I was happy for that, because we get so few cool, rainy days here in Arizona. Two days ago it was 105, but today it was about 60 degrees. Heaven.

But then I realized. The rain. My hair. How could I look great at the Hotty Hot Doctor’s office with rain-frizzled hair? The hair was the only part of my look with almost guaranteed results here in dry, humidity-free Arizona.

Still, I went through the whole blow-out, Velcro roller, flat-iron extravaganza that I save for days when I want great hair, usually about 4 days a week or if I’m going to see some cowboys. (Don’t judge me. I need something to draw the eye upward.) The result was more than satisfactory.

By the time I picked the kids up from school, the rain had mostly subsided, and by the time we got to the Hotty Hot Doctor’s office, it was sprinkling just a little. I found a parking spot near the door (whew), and with great hair still unfrizzled, I dashed inside. Oh yeah, I brought the kids with me, too.

The hair extravaganza was so worth it. He was as dreamy as I remembered. Maybe dreamier. Still really nice, and Girl thought he was hilarious. (Turns out, her ear infection was mild, so just some antibiotics to take care of it.)

I’m sure I was one of dozens of moms he saw today, some of them with great hair. I’m sure most of them had cuter figures. (“I lost all my baby weight without dieting!” Shut up, Elisabeth Hasselbeck.)

I sat there and regretted every single donut I’ve ever eaten.

Maybe someday, someone will look at me and ask, “So, you work out, right?” But for now, I’ll keep counting my Weight Watchers points, start using my treadmill again, read good books and blogs, write some decent stuff, do fun things with my kids this summer.

And, always, always, because it’s important…I’ll try to have great hair.


Did I promise cowboys in Wranglers? Here’s one…

*Uh, not his real name.
**No doctors or cowboys were harmed while researching this post.
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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

david mcmahon May 22, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Made me smile, as always.

So were you sittin’ by the “doc” of the bay ?!!

david mcmahons last blog post..Verse And Worse

Jennifer Harvey May 22, 2008 at 11:14 pm

Well done, David!

Mrs. Chili May 23, 2008 at 4:56 am

Here’s the thing – I am crazy – CRAZY – in love with my husband. Does that stop me from flirting with hot doctors or waiters or book store sales guys? No; no, it does not.

Mrs. Chilis last blog post..FFFriday!

Treasia May 23, 2008 at 6:01 am

Now that’s a hottie hot doctor. I would have gotten all dressed up for the occasion as well. I used to work with a couple of hot doctors and it was so hard to keep my mind on the patients.

Treasias last blog post..Mid Life Pain: edited at 7:40 am

D / Momma May 23, 2008 at 6:08 am

Oh wow, Jennifer, what a great post! I know that a cute doctor always makes the trips in so much better! I had a very cute obstetrician when I was pregnant with my son. I had an appointment with him one day just before lunch; in fact, lunch was being brought in for everyone just as he was finishing up with me.

I said, “I don’t know how you go from doing this to eating lunch.”

He smiled and said, “That’s why I’m a vegetarian.”

His nurse and I were laughing so hard we just about lost our breath.

Doctors…gotta love ’em.

Peace – D

D / Mommas last blog post..And now for something completely different

Denise May 23, 2008 at 6:42 am

Damn that Elisabeth H. Should be against the law. Don’t you think?? My last one was born 6 years ago. I’m still running on that treadmill. Ugh.

Denises last blog post..And You Can Quote Me On That!

Emily R May 23, 2008 at 6:52 am

I love how you laugh at yourself.

Emily Rs last blog post..These wheels

Daryl May 23, 2008 at 7:12 am

ooooh… this is like when I take the cat(s) to the vet .. he is HOT HOT HOT .. so sexy that I get all tongue tied when he calls with test results .. its SO embarassing I am sure he thinks I am a blonde (no real offense intended to any of your natural blondes)…


Daryls last blog post..wishing you all a relaxing memorial day weekend!

melissa May 23, 2008 at 7:33 am

I love that you did this! My OB is HOT. He bears more than a passing resemblance to George Clooney and has the most gentle, soft, mild manner of any man I’ve ever met. EVERYONE I know shaves their legs before appointments with him. Seriously!
Thanks for the cute butt shot:)

melissas last blog post..Little Boys

Jenn @ Juggling Life May 23, 2008 at 9:01 am

Great hair is a must.

I got irritated with my husband for not telling me how hot the pediatric orthopedist was–he took Danger Boy first and when I took him in for the next visit I was caught completely unawares. Seriously, this guy was hot enough you’d think even another man would mention it in passing!

Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..

Minnesota Matron May 23, 2008 at 9:02 am

Too funny. I dress for all kinds of people – women students who notice and yes, men other than my husband. I wish we had a Hot Hottie Doc to fret and pant over . . . and, now I have to read the post about losing the baby weight without dieting. . .

Madge May 23, 2008 at 9:23 am

you know what bugs me? and this is WIERD. when doctors have bad shoes. our ex -pediatrician had horrible shoes. dude. how much money are you making? you can’t get some nice freakin’ shoes?

hot doctors and cowboys. happy friday to you too!

Madges last blog post..Free!! A REAL Blog Giveaway!!!

Brenda May 23, 2008 at 9:29 am

You know, going to the doctor’s office sucks. So why not enjoy it if you can?

The Super Wash is always required for such occasions, and I’m so glad the rain didn’t mess up the perfect hair. I probably would have been sweating (very unattractive in the circumstances) because of the rain and my hair.

Do you ever wonder if they would figure out WHY you changed doctors if you did? Don’t you hate it when you find that doctor and you’re already with another? Doesn’t it make you smile when you make an appointment and get the hot one?

Tootsie Farklepants May 23, 2008 at 9:42 am

This right here: “And right then, he smelled great just six inches away from my face. Sigh.**” is one of the funniest things you’ve written! I’m still laughing as I type.

I was once in the emergency room for a family member and saw an extremely hot doctor. Right there in the midst of all that chaos, I had a hormone surge.

Tootsie Farklepantss last blog post..We Interrupt Friday’s Regularly Scheduled Advice Column to Bring You This Important Bulletin!

ByJane May 23, 2008 at 9:53 am

god, i’m slobbering all over my computer. it’s the cowboy butt that got me, because that doc? he sets my gaydar clanging.

ByJanes last blog post..Cleaning Out My Parents Desk

tysdaddy May 23, 2008 at 11:39 am

I did have a nurse once that was so incredibly cute and boobilicious. Her smock never seemed to conceal much. No wonder they put me on BP medication.


tysdaddys last blog post..Role Play

Lisa May 23, 2008 at 12:10 pm

Why are my doctors such geeks?! I’d start licking public telephones if my doctor looked like that guy 😉

Lisas last blog post..American Idol SHOCKER!

natalie May 23, 2008 at 1:23 pm

now wouldn’t it be something if hottie hot doctor wore wranglers on his day off? sigh. a sweet combination!

natalies last blog peeve #49

we_be_toys May 23, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Mmm girl, I don’t know how you refrained from hurting that Hotty McHottentot doctor – come on not even just a little?
You cracked me up with the “dolled up for the doctor ” deal, though if he’s that hot, yeah, I would do it too. It was awfully collected of you to remember to bring the kids – see if it was me, I would have forgotten them – “whoops! how about you just give ME a physical? I’m a child at heart!”
Great story!

we_be_toyss last blog post..Be Still My Heart

HRH May 23, 2008 at 2:31 pm

I loved this even without illustrations. I have man-drawing impairment. Meg complains that all my stick figure doctors look like the PC guy from the Apple Commercials–hardly the hottness you need for such a story.

I need a frizz-free environment so my hair is predictable.

HRHs last blog post..For the love of tile…

flutter May 23, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Dude. Did you not think to CALL FLUTTER?!?! I mean, I could have used a Dr Oogling. Jeez, woman.

Ree May 23, 2008 at 5:21 pm

How come all of my kid’s doctors are woman or old stinky men wearing turbans?

Rees last blog post..Going to the Chapel

slouching mom May 23, 2008 at 5:41 pm

I understand this PERFECTLY. The doctor who operated on my broken leg — twice — was Hottie McHot. Still is, in fact. It’s too bad I see him only once a year now. Hmm… Maybe I’ll have to do something about that. I AM a klutz, after all. 😉

slouching moms last blog post..Bothered, Bewildered, and Blocked [UPDATED]

Crazycath May 23, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Wow – glad you remembered to take the kids with you AND it stopped raining – Phew!

You write so well with that tongue-in-cheek style. I really admire it and you tell such a good story. I understand you saying you need to Holly to help tell something.
I soooooooooooo need Holly to narrate my blog sometimes!

Manic Mommy May 23, 2008 at 7:12 pm

And you’ve not changed him to your kids’ primary care physician because…?

My OB’s partner is *stunning* and when did he meet me? As I’m writhing in pain and vomiting on myself minutes prior to my emergency c-section.

Manic Mommys last blog post..No Matter What

Brenda May 24, 2008 at 5:12 am

My husband berated me for making my first comment so tame. I thought to myself when I did it, “Jennifer H already know about this, and everyone else has said similar things, so why should I tell a story about the absolutely HOTTEST OB/Gyn doctor in the world?” (Who definitely worked out, by the way. And came to see me in early labor of my first born–stunningly dressed–for no reason whatsoever than I’m sure he had just as much a crush on me as I did on him!)
So I’ll say this instead…. everyone’s comments mention that these HOT doctors are all so NICE. So it wasn’t just mine. What’s up with that? Were these drop-dead-gorgeous men nice to us (the smart, better-than-average looking women) in high school? NO! Were the in college? NO! So why are they so damn nice now? (Not that I care. Especially the OB/gyn. He probably could have looked like a tree and I still would have had a crush on him because at that time, nice is just GOOD.) Why are the hot doctors nicer than most of the female doctors? (I must say that my current doctor is female and I love her, but I haven’t loved most of them.)
My theory is there are 2 reasons for this. One is that we have nothing better to do that tell all our friends how WONDERFUL they are, therefore dragging in more business than they can handle.
The other reason is because they are reading our blogs and feeling good about themselves! We fall all over them (really, I tried not to), then go spout it out online. What a boost!!

Actually, I think mine actually WAS just the nicest man in the world (next to my perfect husband), and it sounds like they all are. But where were these men when I was in college? They were there, but they were jerks!

Carolyn May 24, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Ohhhhhh. I loves me a Hotty Hot Doctor. A nice Hotty Hot Doctor can make any gal’s day. And like my mama always says, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if he’s cute, forget the fruit!”

Carolyns last blog post..sweet. adorable. weird. strange.

Sandy (Momisodes) May 24, 2008 at 8:57 pm

I can’t stop giggling over here! Like I’ve had a dirty little secret whispered in my ear 🙂 Love your post. I’ll admit, I’d totally do this too if I met a hot _____. Even if I’ve been burned by a few MD ex-boyfriends in the past 😉

the mama bird diaries May 24, 2008 at 8:57 pm

i want a hotty hot doctor! i’ll do my hair!

PS Carolyn’s mama is funny.

PPS you crack me up.

the mama bird diariess last blog post..the defector

Katy (aka funny girl) May 25, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Hilarious!! I worked with a pedi ENT that all of my mom-friends would drool over and dress up for. One day he was being particularly fussy so I took that opportunity to ask him if he knew the reputation he had amongst all the preschool moms? Even behind his mask I could see him turn 27 shades of red. It was priceless.

Katy (aka funny girl)s last blog post..For Women Only

Just Jamie May 26, 2008 at 10:02 am

Is it bad that I think my own doctor is Hottie McHot and when I have a particular ailment that may not be so purdy, I just don’t go. I sit in misery so my how doctor doesn’t know I’m fragile and falling apart? “Cause I’m sure he’s keeping score.

Just Jamies last blog post..Do You Think It Was the Vagisil That Sealed the Deal?

Meg May 26, 2008 at 5:35 pm

You crack me up! As always, another great post. A “sprinkle” of comments you say? WELCOME to my world! Your following is much better than mine and more loyal!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the last picture, but you knew that already!

Megs last blog post..The Men In My Life Through The Years…

Razor Family Farms May 26, 2008 at 10:09 pm

No cute doctors for me! I want them fat and ugly — then they have no room to talk. A fat doctor can’t tell you to shed some poundage. Nope. An ugly doctor can’t look down on me because I haven’t had a pedicure in two years. That and when I put on the tent of a gown — I want to still be the best looking person in the room.

Yes, I am that ridiculous. Don’t judge me. 😉


Razor Family Farmss last blog post..Start at Home

JCK May 26, 2008 at 10:40 pm

Hot doctors?? Where? Where? Cowboys?? You have all the luck!

JCKs last blog post..Collecting clouds and the Witsy, Witsy Spider

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