You can trust me. Really.

by Jennifer on July 17, 2008

If you’re hanging out here, chances are you’re not at that conference that shall not be named. Clearly, I’m not either.

And this week I’m really antsy. I haven’t been on my Thursday drive for weeks because the kids are out of school. Oh, and because of this:

So lately, there’s been none of this:

and none of these:

And I’m getting cranky.

At least I have poker to entertain me.

One of the funniest moments of my week was in the middle of a poker tournament at the casino on Sunday. When I play, I like it best when the players are talking and having a good time. Of course, during a hand, it’s good etiquette to keep quiet for the most part. But there’s plenty of opportunity to enjoy being around other grown-ups, and I’ve been known to lighten the mood of a table. (It’s my mission, and I do choose to accept it.)

The poker room has about 8 or 10 big screen TVs. In one corner, there’s a smaller screen just over a larger one. Most of the screens were showing the Diamondbacks game, but that one small screen was showing the movie Bandidas. I happen to love that movie–it’s a fun caper movie, and how hard is it to look at Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek for an hour and a half? (They’re both girl crush-worthy.) It’s not the greatest movie ever, but it’s fun.

Though most of the attention was on the baseball game, the presence of two beautiful women on the screen didn’t go unnoticed. The corsets and the dΓ©colletage were noted and appreciated fully, and the consensus among the men (I might have stirred the pot a little) was that it wouldn’t be so bad if women dressed like that these days.

The game went on, and so did the movie, until it reached the scene I’m posting below. Having watched the movie before, I knew what to expect.

At the critical moment, I said, “Finally, a naked butt!”

In half a second, nine heads swiveled toward the screen just in time to see Steve Zahn’s bare tush. And then? Nine men protested. Loudly. The table erupted in laughter.

“Oh, geez. Did we have to see that?”

“Hey! You just had to do that, didn’t you?”

“Oh come on.”

And then, “All right. You got us.”

I laughed the hardest. Those poor men were expecting to see a very fine, very female tush. It was mean. It was hilarious.

And all I could say (to more laughter) was, “Well played, Jennifer. Well played.”


The clip is probably PG-13, so you might want to clear out the young ‘uns when you watch it. And, gentlemen, if you’re as easily ruffled as the men at the table, you should take a long blink around timestamp 0:25 to 0:27 . But don’t worry–with the rest of it, I’ve got you covered. πŸ˜‰ (Oh, and don’t judge me for posting this. Tomorrow we’ll pretend like it never, ever happened.)

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{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Louise July 17, 2008 at 5:43 pm


Both women are DEFINITELY girl-crush-worthy!

Prince Charming and I will need to get this for a Saturday night!

rachel July 17, 2008 at 5:57 pm


still laughing my “covered” buns off!

Thanks for the chuckle

rachels last blog post..Dirty Carnival

catnip July 17, 2008 at 6:19 pm

That was great! I’ve never seen it – now I’ll have to. Obviously I’m not at the conference that shall not be named either, but I’m trying not be be bitter.

catnips last blog’s a really really good day

Madge July 17, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Around my house of little boys we say, “finally, a covered butt!”

Madges last blog post..Seven Stages of Blogging

Jenn @ Juggling Life July 17, 2008 at 7:03 pm

You’re from Arizona. Zonies come to San Diego all the time. If you get in the car now you could be here in time for BitchHer 2008!

HRH July 17, 2008 at 7:54 pm

OMG. You got game.

HRHs last blog post..Where is Holly?

Stacie July 17, 2008 at 8:02 pm

I will take your advice and not show this to my husband who totally enjoys mooning people, usually me in a public parking lot or a stop sign…yes, he will get out of the car and go in front of the headlights and moon me…

I think you need to get one of those hilarious outfits from the movie and wear it to the casino next time…all of those men will be like, “what cards?”

Stacies last blog post..Shitbird and Other Term s of Endearment

Jennifer Harvey July 17, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Stacie–I like how you think! πŸ˜‰ Maybe I should adopt a Spanish accent, too.

we_be_toys July 17, 2008 at 8:47 pm

That is priceless – tagging a table of guys with Steve Zahn’s butt! I like your style.

Maybe if you win a big enough pot you could afford a Thursday Drive next week? Do they win them that big???

we_be_toyss last blog post..Much Ado About Stuff

anymommy July 17, 2008 at 9:05 pm

I’ve never played poker, but I could completely imagine this scene and I laughed out loud. Good one.

RiverPoet July 17, 2008 at 9:19 pm

So that’s what people are murmuring about…BlogHer convention. I’m not part of that network, which is naturally why I didn’t know about it. I don’t know if I would qualify to be a part of it anyway. My blog is …well… nothing too special! And it makes me zero dollars.

But I hate to hear that your Thursday drives are being curtailed. That’s just a shame!!! Gas prices are stupid. Even my almost-21-year-old has curtailed getting together with friends in neighboring parts of the DC Metro area b/c of the gas prices. When partying suffers, something’s gotta give!

Peace – D

RiverPoets last blog post..Day Two: Illin’ & a Writing Prompt

Denise July 17, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Okay. Now that’s funny. :o)

Denises last blog post..The History Behind Swankybabies

Jennifer Harvey July 17, 2008 at 9:52 pm

D–Even if I had the free time to go on my drives, I think I would feel guilty right now, since I’m trying to use less gas these days. When school starts again, I might cut my drives in half or go every other week. Not sure I’m ready to give them up altogether, since I don’t drive much otherwise. (Almost everywhere I go is within a radius of a couple of miles of where we live.)

Mrs. G. July 17, 2008 at 10:07 pm

I have had a long ass day-thanks for the laugh!

Mrs. G.s last blog post..Slow Cook Thursday…THE MOVIE

Carolyn July 17, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Hilarious. YOU are totally girl-crush worthy.

Well played indeed.

Carolyns last blog post..mama the liar.

Kate July 18, 2008 at 5:28 am


I am sorry however, that you don’t get your drives with the awesome view of hot cowboys along the way..

Kates last blog post..Note to self…

Daryl July 18, 2008 at 6:58 am

Well played indeed!

Daryls last blog watch friday!

Lisa July 18, 2008 at 7:15 am

You should consider being a professional poker player–great play πŸ˜‰

(I love poker but only with fake money–I’m such the wimp.)

Lisas last blog post..10 Years?! Are you sure?

Treasia July 18, 2008 at 7:18 am

You got those men at poker good Jennifer. Kudo’s to you. I can only imagine their faces and your laughter. That’s just to funny.

Treasias last blog post..Let’s Look, Shall We

melissa July 18, 2008 at 7:20 am

That’s great–I just thought of you last night while Mr. D watched poker on TV. It still amazes me that this is your hobby. Why? It would be no less strange if you drove a stock car in races or collected dry cleaning equipment.

melissas last blog post..Flashback Friday: The Smellomatic Version

Mark Salinas July 18, 2008 at 9:17 am

Always a good read πŸ™‚

Mark Salinass last blog post..Gadgets – again

Sandy (Momisodes) July 18, 2008 at 11:03 am

Oh man, you’re a riot! I wish I could have seen their faces πŸ™‚

Loved that clip! Both girls are totally girl crush-worthy. If I could look like that in a corset, I’d wear them everyday. πŸ˜‰

Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Treasures and A Green Light

Mrs. Schmitty July 18, 2008 at 11:41 am

Gas is so incredibly ridiculous…I feel like a prisoner in my own home because it’s too expensive to go anywhere!

Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..Ann Landers Need Not Worry

carmen July 18, 2008 at 12:43 pm

I enjoy playing live poker too – it’s way more fun than online. Where do you play?

carmens last blog post..Best Thursday Ever!!!!

Trooper Thorn July 18, 2008 at 1:16 pm

While there may have been no female bare butts in the film, there were several out of context swimming scenes. They did not move the story along but did manage to get both women wet and on display.

“JAG” used to do the same trick. No matter what or where the investigation took them, Harm always had to land a jet under extreme circumstances and Mac always ended up half dressed and soaking wet.

Writing for Hollywood is easy if you just stick to the rules: Hot Chick + water = ratings.

Allen July 18, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Best part of Bandidas is, IMHO, starting at 1:25 of the clip above, and REALLY gets good and steamy around 3:35. I’d have given ANYTHING to trade places with Steve for that part of the movie. The look on his face after the lip-smackin’ session with Salma really says it all.

Lucky fella!

Jennifer Harvey July 18, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Told you I was looking out for the guys. πŸ˜‰

Ann July 18, 2008 at 4:24 pm

LOL!! Love it that you made them look at the boy-butt! And yep, both those babes are totally girl-crush worthy.

Anns last blog post..The Summer Of My Content…

Just Jamie July 18, 2008 at 4:37 pm

Holy boobies!

And poker? You rock!

Just Jamies last blog post..Where Oh Where Oh Where is Jamie?

Allen July 18, 2008 at 5:14 pm

I’m just a wonderin’ if during the shooting with Salma “sweet lips” Hayak and Penelope “pouty lips” Cruz if either one of them was thinking about removing the hat that Steve had strategically placed. Also wondering how many takes they gave Steve and the girls to “get it right”. I probably woulda’ passed out after the 1st take. And acting or not, if Steve was married at the time they shot the movie I can only guess the crap he got from the missus when she saw the final product.

Hatchet July 18, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Well played indeed!

Hatchets last blog post..Toothless

JCK July 18, 2008 at 10:40 pm

I’m all for the naked male buttocks!

No nudity here so far, but one can hope…

JCKs last blog post..I’m glad that I packed a la Elizabeth Taylor…

Jan July 19, 2008 at 7:34 am

I literally LOL’d at this. I heart you. You da…(wo)man.

Jans last blog post..Day 2, and A Contest

Asianmommy July 19, 2008 at 7:55 am

The gas sign is funny!

the mama bird diaries July 20, 2008 at 2:45 pm

i love a naked tush.

We missed you at the conference that shall not be named.

the mama bird diariess last blog post..blogher is blogover

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