Reason #174 I'm going to hell

by Jennifer on August 6, 2008

Tonight we’re having a marvelous dinner of frozen pizza. It’s just that kind of day.

I turned on the oven to preheat it. Then I took the pizza out of the box and left it on the counter, still in the plastic wrapper, and went to my office to take my turn at Scrabble on Facebook continue cleaning while the oven heated.

A few minutes later, Girl (aged 7) came into the office carrying the pizza (still in its wrapper). “When are you going to make this?”

I told her the oven was heating and asked her to take the pizza back to the kitchen and leave it on the counter. She did, and went to play in her room.

When I heard the oven beep, I unwrapped the pizza, put it in the oven and returned to my office.

Girl came in soon after with a puzzled look on her face and despair in her voice. “I put the pizza back on the counter and now I can’t find it anywhere!”

This is the part where the Devil opens the gates of hell for me.

I turned my head so she wouldn’t see me laughing.

“Are you sure you looked everywhere?”

“I think so. Wait, let me check my room.” She ran off.

I nearly choked trying not to laugh.

I called out. “Did you maybe put it in the oven?”


“Why don’t you go look. Just to be sure.”

The kids don’t use the oven yet, so the fact that she considered this a possibility was beyond hilarious.

I heard her go to the kitchen and turn on the oven light.

“It’s in there! Out of the plastic wrapper and everything!” She ran back to me.

“How could you forget something like that, honey?”

I hid my face behind some papers. I was dying.

“I don’t know? I’m forgetting a lot of stuff today, I guess.”

Smite me now. I’m still laughing.

I even thanked her for making dinner.

“You’re welcome!”

Maybe we can get ginkgo biloba in bulk.

(Does it make anyone feel better than I burned my finger when I was cutting the pizza?)

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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

Kimberly August 6, 2008 at 7:22 pm

Hee! You will get no tsk tsks from me.

You know, I love my children, but they have inflicted a fair amount of torture on me in various forms since they were born. This type of thing? Sounds like fair payback to me. πŸ™‚

Kimberlys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Time travel with the Gav girls

Louise August 6, 2008 at 7:41 pm

You know I’ll be there with you for similar and many, many other reasons!

Louises last blog post..Valley in Zion National Park

tysdaddy August 6, 2008 at 8:33 pm

Thank you, Jennifer, for this hilarious story. I have a seven year old and this sounds so much like something I’d do.

Kids are so cute!

tysdaddys last blog post..Heres How It Goes

suburbancorrespondent August 6, 2008 at 8:50 pm

It’s scary when you can still pull that off when they are 15.

suburbancorrespondents last blog post..Tales From The Fridge

apathy lounge August 6, 2008 at 9:10 pm

Awww! Is it okay that I’m laughing?

apathy lounges last blog post..Why I’m Like This

flutter August 6, 2008 at 9:24 pm

HA poor Girl. I love your kids. and also? If it is not the highest quality pizza from the most expensive frozen pizza maker available…..well then it’s just not blogworthy. There, now I can join you in hell.

flutters last blog post..feeding the trolls

Sandy (Momisodes) August 6, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Evil! Evil woman! lol πŸ˜›

I must remember to try this with my family πŸ˜‰

Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Running On Empty

Jenn @ Juggling Life August 6, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Initiative–it’s a wonderful thing!

Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..Goodbye Again

dysfunctional mom August 6, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Totally something I would do! I love it.

dysfunctional moms last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Hope

JCK August 6, 2008 at 11:23 pm

You are a naughty, naughty mother wench.

JCKs last blog post..We will soon be gone from this place

Mrs. Chili August 7, 2008 at 5:53 am

What? You’re only up to 174 reasons?

This was laugh-out-loud funny. I thought it was more funny that she’d check her room for the pizza, though.

I think I’d fit in nicely at your house – it sounds a lot like things around Chez Chili…

Mrs. Chilis last blog post..Playing Well With Others *EDITED*

Denise August 7, 2008 at 6:19 am

That is priceless. I must try that on my kids soon. :o)

Denises last blog post..Life is Sweeter

Manic Mommy August 7, 2008 at 6:30 am


I see you there! I’ll be the one in red.

(JCK will be wearing the fishnets)

Manic Mommys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

Daryl August 7, 2008 at 7:38 am

YUM … pizza my absolute fav food … I think that is truly a riot that Girl thought it might be in her room .. never mind the oven .. bad bad Jennifer ..

Daryls last blog post..thursdays in the hood

Kate August 7, 2008 at 8:11 am

You are not the only one laughing!

Kates last blog post..Meme

Gwen August 7, 2008 at 8:59 am


And does your frozen pizza really look as yummy as that picture? Because if so, I’d like to know the brand. Ours usually just looks a lot like red and yellow cardboard.

Andi August 7, 2008 at 12:01 pm

I love it! Part of what gets me through the day is being able to torment the ones I love. And since kids believe nearly everything you tell them (my daughter has carefully combed through my hair for fear of poking me in the eyes on the back of my head), it’s all the more fun!

Andis last blog post..Victory

Ann August 7, 2008 at 1:09 pm

So darn cute! And just young to believe it all, I love it! She was probably so darn proud of that dinner…

Anns last blog post..It’s All About The Cherries

Denise @ EatPlayLove August 7, 2008 at 1:21 pm

LOL! sounds like something I would do. I have the same sense of humor.

Denise @ EatPlayLoves last blog post..Do You Think My Shop Vac Would Clog Sucking Up Mrs.C.O.B.??? (the video evidence)

Madge August 7, 2008 at 1:48 pm

do you ever find yourself unable to come up with a witty comment even though you loved the post and actually laughed out loud reading it? do you?

Madges last blog post..Remains of the (Summer) Days

Karen August 7, 2008 at 3:43 pm

Sounds like something my daughter would do. She’s got cognitive issues related (we think) to a traumatic birth (she’s adopted). At least once a day, we have things like this happen. It takes all I have not to let her see me laughing.

Bruce August 7, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Satan is stocking up on extra fire and brimestone for you as I type this. Your soul is cursed for all eternity, you finger was just the start.

Bruces last blog post..My – MP3 [Mannix]

Suzanne August 7, 2008 at 6:16 pm

I get your posts delivered daily to my email box and this one just made my day……not sure what that says about me, but I think this is just so hilarious….although you know someday she’s going to do exactly the same to you!!!!!!

Suzannes last blog post..Food for Thought : Are Vegans Pro-Life?

we_be_toys August 7, 2008 at 6:41 pm

Muhahahaha! I love you, E-vil Mom! If being bad feels so good, I don’t wanna be right!
(God, I’m addicted to computer Scrabble!)

liv August 7, 2008 at 8:16 pm

yeah. i do stuff like that from time to time, but my two aren’t old enough to appreciate my evil genius yet.

livs last blog post..wednesday obsessions…

San Diego Momma August 7, 2008 at 9:17 pm

Oh good. I thought I was the only mom anymore who laughed at this kind of stuff.

San Diego Mommas last blog post..The Phoenix

Hilary August 7, 2008 at 9:49 pm

Aww I want to hug that child! Too funny. You’re a good, bad mom! πŸ˜‰

Attila the Mom August 8, 2008 at 1:05 am

Nope, nope, going straight to hell for that one! LOL

Attila the Moms last blog post..Random Thoughts

Mark Salinas August 8, 2008 at 7:30 am

HA! Funny! :0

Mark Salinass last blog post..Liquid Calories

Lennie August 8, 2008 at 8:11 am

I am laughing too. And I would have run with that one as far as I possibly could’ve as well, once I knew that they were not humouring me. Who could resist??

Lennies last blog post..The nest is empty

Tina August 8, 2008 at 1:06 pm

You are evil…I love it! What’s the point of having kids if you can’t mess with their heads now and then? Lord knows, it’s not like they don’t torture us.

Ree August 8, 2008 at 6:59 pm

Mr. Hot says it serves your burned finger right. I, on the other hand, think you are absolutely genius. πŸ˜‰

Red Flashlight August 8, 2008 at 11:37 pm

Fish in a barrel! That poor, poor future stand-up comedian.

Red Flashlights last blog post..Taking a Hatchet to the Wedding Cakes

Georgie August 9, 2008 at 10:35 am

Oh my…LMAO-guess since I found this hysterical i will be sitting right beside ya down there!

Georgies last blog post..

dragonfly August 9, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Oh my…you had me laughing out loud!!!


dragonflys last blog post..Another Distraction

Grandy August 9, 2008 at 8:44 pm

There’s a seat over here in hell, just next to me hun!! πŸ™‚

Grandys last blog post..The Crue Review

Milena August 10, 2008 at 9:50 am

No harm done and funny as hell. Plus, you’ve managed to introduce her to the concept of ‘autopilot moments’. It is a useful understanding and it is never to early to introduce females to it. πŸ˜‰

Milenas last blog post..

Crazycath August 12, 2008 at 10:34 am

Just running through but this one is hilarious! (It was the turn at Scrabble that made me stop – I so do this all the time).
My kids eat at odd hours depending on when I am ready to finish reading blogs or taken all the turns I can at Scrabble, Scramble, WordTwist and moved up the ladder.
You know esactly what I mean. ;0)
Your post gives it away.
We can burn together…..

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