I may have mentioned once or twice that I’m feeling restless. This summer is doing that to me.
So today I’m going to pretend that you all live nearby, especially you, Madge. (Hey, guess what, a couple of you do live close!) If you’re all game, this is what I have in mind to shake off my summer blues. (I’ll pretend that a capable babysitter will show up unannounced and ready to entertain my kids for the day.)
You should probably wear jeans and a cute top. Go ahead, change. Oh, and maybe some dangly earrings. I’ll be wearing my boots, but you don’t have to. (Guys, you get a pass on the cute top and dangly earrings. Unless that’s your thing, of course.)
First, let’s find a gritty, but mostly safe dive bar. Not the worst one we can find, but one that your mama still might try to talk you out of going to (in my case, there’s a good chance I’d find her there. Whole other story.).
We should put on some good music. This ought to be a good start:
I don’t mean to sound bossy, but we’re drinking beer. It’s damn hot here, plus look around. (Anyone tries to order wine, and you’re out. We’ll take a vote on margaritas.) And no sissy stuff, girls–we’re drinking from bottles today. Unless (until?), of course, someone starts ordering whiskey* (hi JCK!) or tequila. Am I the only one who’s never had a tequila shot? The whole lick your hand, sprinkle salt, take the shot and suck the lemon? Not even once. How is that possible? (Yes, I’ve heard that there are wonderful tequilas that one sips. Another thing to try.)
And I’ve never been on a motorcycle. Why does that sound so great all of a sudden? (I think my mid-life crisis just started. Just now.)
Time for some of this…
…even though I’m really bad at it until I’ve had two beers, then I get better for a while, then bad again. But then it gets really funny. I have no anecdotal evidence of this that’s more recent than 10 years ago, so you’ll have to trust me. Maybe most some of you are better at pool than me. In that case, I’ll let you run the tables.
Oh, look. A few cowboys just wandered in. Now the day is perfect. (If bikers do it for you–admit it, they do if they’re the right kind–then add a few of those, too.) Wait, there’s a back room with a poker game! Now, the day is perfect.
Hey, no one seems to want us to leave (And why would they? All these jeans and cute tops and dangly earrings and good looks?).
But someone needs to feed the juke box. I’ve got us started, but now it’s your turn. What songs would you add to the list I started here? Leave me your favorite songs that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to play in a gritty bar (it helps if you’re specific so I get it right), and if I can find them on Playlist.com, I’ll add them to the playlist above and put the whole thing on my Driving Music page.
Now, whose turn is it to buy the next round?**
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*Mary Alice from From the Frontlines found a perfect song for that point in the afternoon.
**Yes, I’ll put the taxi service on speed dial.
The list is growing and is definitely better for your suggestions. I’m adding songs as you post them in the comments, so keep them coming!
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I am SO THERE.
flutters last blog post..here’s a doozy
I’m the same as you with pool, so I’ll give you a game after a couple of beers. Out the bottle of course.
Hmmm. Music. Let me see, Some Led Zepp should do it and of course Meatloaf. I’ll have me a cowboy too please. Them’s none too plentiful in these ‘ere parts. Bikers I could find though. So I’ll have me some cowboy.
And I’ll just polish the wedding band too….. just for Mr. Crazy.
Crazycaths last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
I’m so there, but it’s about a three day drive for me. Will you be there until Saturday?
Tina–If all goes as planned. 🙂
Cath–we needed a lively English girl in the mix! Glad you could make it!
Flutter–Knew I could count on you.
Waylon, Willy, and Kris–of course.
ByJanes last blog post..BlogHer’08: Just the first night…
You know I would SO be the party-pooper here. So I’ll just continue to ride around on the motorcycle with my tight-abbed cop friend.
Louises last blog post..I. WANT. HOMEMADE. SALSA!
I had one too may Tequila shooters a few years ago and it is now permanently off the bar list! The rest sounds fun though.
Jane–Any particular songs?
Louise–Lucky you. Damn, girl.
Jenn–It may fall off my list after my first go-around, too!
Everyone–The playlist will be so much better if you can give me some ideas. Thanks! 🙂
Go watch this Corb Lund video ….”it’s time to switch to whiskey, we’ve been drinking beer all night”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TijIWdtZnlI
It make me think of you and your boots and your poker and your bar partay!
Mary Alices last blog post..Of Typing and Waste Baskets
Let’s pretend I could be there in a flash because dive bars? Oh good stuff.
I can’t believe you haven’t had a tequila shot before. Let’s also pretend that I haven’t done enough for both of us.
I like the song 4th Of July – and you have that on your play list. So I’m set.
Kates last blog post..Tag
Clearly, we need some Van Morrison.
– For early in the night, we need Wild Nights. Best line ever: All the girls walk by, dressed up for eachother.
– For later in the night when we’ve found that existential, bohemian biker who happens to smell heavenly, have great teeth, and great abs, we’ll play “Have I Told You Lately” so we can dance so slowly against him.
Manic Mommys last blog post..1 Year Blogoversary – 100 Things
I’m Googling to see if Greyhound can deliver me to your doorstep.
Mary Alice–Love that song! Thanks for linking it, and I’ve added it to the body of the post, since it’s not available on Playlist.
Lisa–You’re in charge of educating me.
Kate–You are definitely cool in my book.
Manic Mommy–I’ve added both, and put Have I Told You Lately at the end of the list. You know why. 🙂
Mrs. G–It wouldn’t be right if you’re not there. Can we have a dive bar at Women’s Colony? (Men allowed on Thursdays and Sundays only, of course.)
You say there are bikers in this bar? And a pool table AND a poker game? I am so there.
Hope I’ll find these on the jukebox.
Dire Wolf – The Grateful Dead
Locomotive Breath – Jethro Tull
Delta Lady – Joe Cocker
Little Piece of My Heart – Janis Joplin
Yup, I’m a classic rock junkie.
Jans last blog post..In Which I Answer Some Questions
I’m totally in. I need it today too.
All Adithers last blog post..Why OK! never should have put Jamie Lynn on their cover
Pick ME!!! PIck ME!!! ooooh Can I gooooo toooo??? I’ll buy this round and the next two. Beer in a bottle is just the ticket…that’s what I am having on the porch tonight. Can we get some Dire Straits with ..uh..Sultans of Swing…really any of their old stuff.
Stacies last blog post..Look What I Can Do!!
Such a great and fun idea, I’m totally there! I’m wearing my long boot-leg faded jeans, the ones with the hole in the knee, and my new favorite Michael Kors top that is very loose so it hides the ‘muffin top that’s being exposed over those low slung jeans and my favorite pair of high-heeled sandals.
I’m ordering a margaritia! And on the jukebox, this quasi Southern girl wants to hear ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ to get the whole bar singing along! Yeehaw!
I’d love to join—I always think of “american Pie” when i think of those joints or maybe some Eagles; any Eagles
Ron–check your email.
Jan–you, too. 🙂
I’ve added what I can find from both of your lists. Great suggestions!
All Adither–Boy, do I hear that.
Stacie–I’m still jealous of your porch. Hey, you and Madge can even car pool. Yeah, jealous of that, too! I’ve added Dire Straits–Sultans of Swing and Calling Elvis. Let me know if you want any others.
Lisa–I’ll add some more Eagles, and American Pie, too. Excellent picks.
Suzanne–I love those tops for the same reason! Great song choice–do I get points for having it on the list already?
After reading Ron’s suggestions, I thought about Banditos by The Refreshments. I’d fit the bar perfectly.
Also, will there be karoke? Because if so, we need some I Will Survive. I understand if it’s not that type of place and will save it for the Women’s Colony as necessary.
I’m wearing my jeans capris with my cork wedge heeled sandals, with red toenails. For my top, I’m going with the spaghetti strapped cotton lycra blend with the shelf bra. I’ve got a good tan right now and can carry it off.
Manic Mommys last blog post..1 Year Blogoversary – 100 Things
OK – you need to come to New York and I will take you to Hogs & Heifers. You’ll be drunk off your butt and slinging your bra to the rafters in less than 20 minutes. Guaranteed!
manager moms last blog post..I’ve Had The Time Of My Life
Can I just observe, is that allowed?
Milenas last blog post..On becoming a citizen of the United States of America
I’ll have to come back later for the music but damn if I don’t have the exact same pool-playing pattern.
Frankis last blog post..Bonkey Says, “Huh?”
Now I feel all left out. I have been TTC, pregnant or nursing for most of the last five years. I forget what alcohol tastes like. Can I at least come for the cowboys?
Emily Rs last blog post..Numbers
The dingos are restless they say, as we all congregate amoungst the ways of the Mail Men that flood our society. Like all that I, I am. Yes. to rest yet not, noone may rest in the shadow of the dingo. I digress.
On the way to my domicile like a chameleon in july heat of the mid-winter day, I paused inexorably hoping that my seatbelt held the goblet of wisdom. I saw an old lady who told me opposite of the young man. I idolize the young man.
What is juice?
Trollpop Bagelstiens last blog post..Please Me Twice…
OK, you already know the song I would add to the jukebox: “Cold Heart Bitch” by Jet. I suspect it would have varying effects on some of the group. It would be played at a strategic moment during the pool game — after a few beers but before too many.
Yes, now that I think about it, I am pretty sure that I would want to be there that afternoon/evening — just to enjoy the event as a spectator (I don’t drink anymore) or help extricate anyone from an unwanted situation.
I’ll be the one sipping Jack Daniels in the corner, people-watching. Just my luck, some of the grittier bikers decide I’m cute, and they sit down with me and begin pouring out their hearts over their beer.
Peace – D
If we can’t drink wine, I’ll go for the tequila shots…..and some Corona.
But maybe JCK could talk me into whiskey & coke.
We’ve got a biker bar here in my town, and after that certain time of night, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE will get up to some Kiss by Prince.
Frankis last blog post..Bonkey Says, “Huh?”
oh good you linked me and i talked about WW today. smart move madge.
i have had tequila and ridden a motorcycle. and i’m still having a mid-life crisis…
Madges last blog post..New Diet Plan!!!
Oooh, I wanna come! My oldest friend and I have our own dive bar to hit once every few months, where we feed the juke box and drink beer. LOL This is my kinda party!
As for music, hmm… some good foot stompin country is probably needed for beer drinking and pool playing (one which I do well, the other… not so well).
Maybe some Johnny Cash, too? And anything country with the words “beer”, “whiskey”, or “cowboys”… Waylon, Willie and the boys should cover that though. 🙂
That juke is sadly in need of some estrogen!
~ Me & Bobby McGee – Janis Joplin
~ I Feel Lucky – Mary Chapin Carpenter
~ Dance Me to the End of Love – as covered by Madeleine Peyroux, but of course, the original Leonard Cohen works, too
~ Smile (or anything) by Lily Allen
~ F**k All Night – Amy Steinberg (OK – having hung out with Amy, I highly recommend inviting her! Maybe she’ll do a show)
~ Girls Like That – Christine Kane
No specific songs, but – Bonnie Raitt, Tina Turner, Aretha Franklin, kd lang, Joan Jett, Chrissie Hynde, Annie Lennox… you get the picture.
Since the women are covered:
~ Take on Me – as covered by Reel Big Fish
~ She’s Got a Girlfriend Now – Reel Big Fish
Girrrrlll… I have achieved my lifetime USRDA recommended amount of tequila – but should we ever meet, I’m buyin’ us each a shot!
OH! OH! I just read Neil’s comment. Neil!!! We are all smacking you right now. Don’t go picking up on married women.
slap slap slap. That’s all Jennifer’s chick friends slapping you out of the bar. go away.
A virtual Girls’ Night Out? I love it! I’ve been feeling rather blah lately; too-grooved into the Mom Mode to even have the tiniest spark of personality. I definitely need a break from the monotony of this past week!
Order me a Newcastle and throw a little Lyle Lovett on the jukebox – “If I Had A Boat” is one of my favorites!
Every time I’ve been in THAT bar with THOSE cowboys, I play Layla by Eric Clapton.
Oh man I’m to late to party and shake bootie with the rest of you. Darn it! Had I been there we would have had to play some good ole CCR.
Steve–I’m sorry to report that I can’t add that track, but if there’s another one you’d like to request? And thanks for the offer of strategic manpower. Not that anyone’s gotten out of line or anything. 😉
RiverPoet–Well, in that case, we’ve got Steve. We’ll work out some sort of signal.
Denise–I have a feeling JCK could talk many of us into almost anything. All that charm, and those fishnets!
Franki–I’m on it! Check the list.
Madge–Whose motorcycle, and how come you don’t drink tequila with me. (Maybe it has something to do with the vodka and cranberry juice incident?) Also, thanks for having my back. (Now and, you know, for the last 20 years or so.)
Autumn–I had a feeling you would fit right in! And I mean that in a you’re-cool-in-my-book kind of way. Working on the foot-stompin’ music…
Dharmamama–Adding some chicks to the lineup…I’m finding the ones I can. Thank you for all the suggestions!
We Be Toys–BlogHer’s got nothing on us, girl! Added the song, and I think there’s at least one other Lyle on it.
Melissa–My kinda girl. It’s added.
Treasia–You may be late, but we’re not ready to close it down just yet!
This is to ReluctantFarmChik and Jennifer H only,
I’ve just figured out the draw of country music! It’s drinking!!! You know I’m just kidding, sort of.
But when I’m finished with MY motorcycle ride with the cop with the best abs ON THE PLANET, we’ll settle down and listen to Collective Soul.
Louises last blog post..It’s Big and Pink–Another SkyWatch Friday
Are you a serious pool player, because I can’t call a shot to save my life. If you wanna play for fun, I’m in..I’ll buy the next round, but it must be a microbrew! LOL.
Oh and any Ben Harper will do for me. How about Say You Will?
Oh, I know how to drink tequila right. I live in Texas, you have to be born knowing how. lol
Rhea–I suppose it’s possible that tequila leads to more than few babies gettin’ born? 😉
Yeehaw.
OK, since you said nothing in reply, I gather that no, it is not allowed. This one is kind of mellow but I can’t imagine why I didn’t put her here. Kind of dive bar for slow dancing at the end of the night kind of music.
Adele and her song Crazy.
Milena–Please, please forgive me for not responding to your comment! The truth is, I did. I worked you and Emily and Louise into a story in my response to Neil’s misguided advances, but then I ended up revising my comment (the first pass was funnier and kicked ass–literally) and then I failed to go back and respond to yours.
I apologize, and I feel so terrible now. Please know that I’ve been sitting with you off and on through the whole party, having the best conversation.
Ugh.
I’m going to look for your song right now…
Oh Lord, did I see “Banditos” on there? Usually that’s all I need.
I’ll also humbly add the BoDeans, “Misery,” and “Still the Night,” and Weezer’s “Island in the Sun.”
Wow. You paint a pretty picture.
My second choice: “Lily Was Here” by Candy Dulfer and Dave Stewart (formerly of the Eurythmics)..
Definitely pool-playing music — of course, it’s difficult to line up the shot properly when you are grooving to the music. Just try to stand still when you hear Candy and her sax…
OMG I just LOVE you! You are such a rockin’ righteous chick!
Love ALL the picks – but wow, you picked Here Comes A Regular? Just wow.
I can’t even think about songs right now bc I’m just stuck, once again, at just how cool you are. 🙂
How can you wear boots? Isn’t it like 118 degrees there in the shade?
“I got friends in low places” Garth Brooks
Let’s drink Jaeger.
the mama bird diariess last blog post..i’m jake and i’ll be your captain
This round’s on me! And I’ll sneak in my bottle of whiskey if they don’t have it. Although, dive bars usually do carry JackO’Clock!
What about some Fleetwood Mac? Anything from the Rumours album will do.
God–I’ve been eyeing those boots in the Sundance catalog for over a year. I should probably just order them up, no?
I just drove past a freeway exit the other day listening to the long version of Ted Nugent’s Stranglehold and thinking about guys in high school who called him “The Nuge.” Possible to add?
cindys last blog post..Breaking up—it’s hard